I recently read How to be the Love you Seek by Dr. Nicole LePera. I found this book to be so practical and satisfying. I love the focus on inner work preparing you to be in healthy relationships with others.
I appreciate that she addresses love languages and the expectation that others will bend to fit the roles you want from them instead of us being able to honor people as they are. I also thought it was interesting that the book starts with the assumption that the person reading the book is having struggles in relationships. Actually, no, my relationships are going great, I just thought this book sounded interesting. I appreciate that throughout the book she helps us break free from the notion of a perfect, romantic love and helps us come to terms with the fact that we’re all humans having a human experience.
I loved that there were questionnaires imbedded in the book to help you understand more about yourself and guide you on the path to self-discovery and awareness. I also appreciate that, again, the focus isn’t on perfection or getting rid of whatever traits we deem faulty, but findings ways to bring them to the forefront of our consciousness to be addressed.
I enjoyed reading about co-regulation and the benefits from that in deepening bonds. I also, liked the discussion about how to ground yourself in nature which helps with HRV (heart-rate variability).
The added, exciting tidbit for me was when we find out Dr. LePera is navigating her love life in an expanded relationship. I enjoyed reading out her growth and lessons learned about herself and the love she wants to give throughout the book and was glad to find that the book ended on a pleasant note with her partners.
Overall, the book offered a great framework to help with self-awareness and reflection which will only benefit future relationships. There was focus on overall health, which I appreciated and Dr. LePera discusses nutrition, movement, and sleep.
Now, I’m going to have to find How to do the Work and see how that compares to this. Have you read books by Dr. LePera? What did you think?
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